there was a trapeze. enough said
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
