Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
