Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Sext me about skeletons
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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