I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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