She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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