Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
My balls are so social today.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
