? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
