No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
