She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
