She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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