New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Randomize
