Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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