Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
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