Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
