I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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