Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I am spending my child support on dildos
they need to just BURY HIM!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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