Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
