For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Pooping to opera.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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