after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
There r osticjed everywhere
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
