so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
