i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
