We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
whose ass print is on the piano?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
