Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
