Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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