Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
