She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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