Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
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it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
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"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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