I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
