ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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