My nipple is on Facebook.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
