she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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