if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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