Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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