ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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