too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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