..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize