OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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