Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
