Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
