D3 body, D1 cock
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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