maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
