Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
