So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
