but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
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Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
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I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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