So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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