so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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