I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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