the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
