I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
