you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
