Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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