I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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