im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
