i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We are two peas in an std pod
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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