we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
