As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
