new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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