So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
