So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
