I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
