Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
