That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
