The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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