Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
