No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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